and here we begin again
by Laura x Tennant
Summary: Rose and the Doctor have some important things to discuss upon their arrival in Rose's flat after Bad Wolf Bay. Set after Journeys End.


"There are so many things we've got to think about," Rose murmured, staring into her tea. She jostled the half-full mug, watching the liquid swirl around inside.

The Doctor walked through the living room of Rose's flat, hands in pockets, and stared out of the window. "Yeah." He sniffed, squinting, watching a family move into the house across the road. "I can…I can live here, right?"

She placed her mug on the coffee table and looked up at him as he turned to face her. "Course you can. Where else - " she cut off, swallowing thickly.

He nodded slowly, eyes darting around the room. "Mm. Except, I don't want you thinking that you have to have me here. Some sort of…obligation. Just because I've got nowhere else - "

Rose stood up. "Doctor. I want you to stay here. With me."

"Right." He nodded again. "Good. That's - yes."

"You said - what you said on the beach, about growing old together," she murmured, rubbing her arms nervously.

The corner of his mouth lifted. "I meant it. But only if you want."

"I want. I want you to stay, and I want that life with you, and I want - I dunno, you in general." She worried her bottom lip with her teeth. "And I want to travel around with you, save the world with you, and come back here and have tea with you."

"I want that too."

"Yeah?"

"Yes." He smiled at her, properly, taking a few steps towards her. "I want it all."

She let out a long breath in relief, then laughed. "That's good to know."

"You held my hand for the entire flight from Norway." He reached for her, and their fingers entwined as naturally as they had that very first day they'd met. Her thumb caressed his and he moved closer still. "It relaxed me, grounded me. It always has done, you, doing that." He paused, and swallowed. "Rose. I missed you so much."

"I missed you too," she whispered, her eyes welling up. She gestured to them, laughing wetly. "Sorry. Just a bit…emotional. Never thought I'd see you standing here."

His brow furrowed. "I know this isn't what you anticipated upon finding me again. Not what you'd hoped. But we'll make the best of it, eh? Me and you." His free hand came up to her face and he brushed a few tears off her cheeks. "More than that. We'll - we'll have a fantastic life together. Yeah?"

"Yeah," she said shakily, her voice catching. She let go of his hand and looped her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly, her nose pressed into his shoulder.

He held her around the waist, squeezing, kissing the side of her head. "Now we've cleared that up," he murmured. "What's next on the list of things we've got to think about?"

Rose pulled back and smiled at him. "Well, a name, for starters."

"A name?" he asked, alarmed. "I've already got a name!"

"A _surname._ You need a surname. For like, paperwork and passports and stuff." She fiddled with the hair at the back of his neck. "You could just go for something generic and easy, like your usual 'Smith.'"

"Oh."

"Oh?" She frowned. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing!" He smiled brightly. "That's all right. Smith, that's - yep. Fine by me."

"I mean, you don't have to decide now. It can be anything you like. Your choice."

A hand left her waist to tug on his ear. "Anything I like?"

"Yep, course."

"It's just, I assumed I would just, I don't know. Take your name. If it's just for the paperwork and all that."

Her eyebrows rose. "You want to be a Tyler?"

"Not a bad thing, that."

"No, but I just thought - I mean, people, they'll think - "

"Think what?"

"That we're married."

"Or that we just have the same surname," he pointed out, sniffing casually. "Either way, I don't see that it's a big deal."

Her lips twitched. "No?"

"Nope. Just convenient."

"You're just doing this now so that you get out of a wedding later down the line, aren't you?"

His eyes nearly popped out of his head. "What? No! That's not - I wouldn't - " Rose started laughing. "Oh. You're teasing me."

"Of course I'm teasing you." She grinned. "You can be Doctor Tyler if you want. I won't stand in your way."

"No?"

"No. I mean, it's kind of nice, actually. Convenient, yeah, but sort of sweet, too."

He shrugged a shoulder. "Well. You _are_ all the family I've got, so."

Rose rolled her eyes. "You can't fool me. Bet you've been writing Dr and Mrs Tyler in little hearts in your notebooks for years." She smiled her teasing smile, tongue poking out.

"That's - that's - that's completely not true. I'm not a young man of one hundred and fifty, Rose! And I was _never_ really the sappy sort."

She laughed, sliding her hands down his front, playing with his jacket lapels. "Course not. Not you. The Oncoming Storm…who, if I remember rightly, once got drunk in a bar on Delp and recited a love poem to your time and spaceship. In front of about fifty people."

"Ah, well, that's different; I'm allowed to wax poetic about the TARDIS. Our bond is…" he trailed off, his eyes straying from hers.

The smile slipped from Rose's face. "Shit. Sorry, that was stupid. I'm an idiot." She winced, rubbing his chest in concern. "I'm really sorry, that was so insensitive, I - "

"It's all right, Rose," he assured her, placing his hands over hers. "Besides." He cleared his throat. "There's something I need to tell you."

"I - oh. What's that?"

He scratched at the back of his neck. "Let's - let's sit down."

They sat close together on the sofa, a leg curled beneath each of them as they turned their bodies to face one another.

The Doctor dug into his pocket and pulled out a bit of coral, tossing it into Rose's lap. She looked at it with wide eyes. "It's a piece of the TARDIS," he explained quietly. "The other me slipped it into my pocket, and Donna - she came up with an idea for me to accelerate the growth rate if we decide to - to grow our own."

Rose turned her wide eyes onto him. "We could grow our own TARDIS?"

He nodded, watching her carefully. "If we do it, if we start now, then she'd be ready in a few years. Four at the most."

"If? We're doing it. Obviously we're doing it. Why 'if?'"

The Doctor ran a hand through his hair. "I just want you to be sure. This new life, new chance - I want to do it right. Do you want the TARDIS to be part of that?"

"Are you kidding? How do we get this baby started?"

He grinned at her words, then started to chuckle. "'Baby?'"

Rose flushed a little, ducking her head shyly, turning over the coral in her hands. "I'm not saying I was with you for your spaceship, Doctor, and wherever we go or whatever happens, I'll be happy just as long as you're there with me. But…having the TARDIS again, _our_ TARDIS, it would be…" She let out a whoosh of breath. "Not only brilliant in terms of…opening up the universe to us again, but also, good for you. To have her there, a constant again. In your head, and all that."

"You could bond with her too, you know. Make her properly ours."

She met his gaze again. "Then it really is like a baby, yeah?" she grinned.

He laughed. "Yes, well. There's - there's that to consider, too, I suppose."

"Hmm?"

"If you want a - family."

"I've got a - oh."

"Yeah. A family of our own."

"It's a bit soon to even think about that."

"I know," he said quickly. "I know, I just - if that's, potentially, something for us to think about in the future, hypothetically, then, well - "

She reached for his hand, squeezing lightly. "Doctor, how about we see how growing the TARDIS goes first."

"Right. I was just going to say that there's a possibility we might not, er. Be able to. The conventional way. And I just wanted to tell you that now, just in case."

"Oh…you mean 'cos you're only part-human."

"Mm."

She frowned in thought for a moment, then shrugged. "Well. There are other ways. Donor ways, adoption ways, all that. Let's not - look, I'm not gonna chuck you out just 'cos you might not be able to get me pregnant at some point in the distant future, especially as I don't even know if that's something I want. Never thought we'd have that chance anyway, remember."

"Yeah. Thought it was best to be upfront about it all the same."

"Thanks. Yeah, you're right, actually. If we're airing stuff out today we might as well go the whole hog. Get all the awkward and scary things out in the open at once."

He winced. "Well, maybe not everything."

She placed the coral carefully on the table and moved closer to him, snuggling under his arm. "I won't make you. Last thing I want is for you to run away 'cos you get scared or something. But if you want to talk, to tell me anything, then go ahead. We've had a tough few days and not a lot of chance to talk about how things were, before. Without each other. But if it's too hard, I don't mind, Doctor."

He dropped a kiss to her hair. "It's okay."

"We can just cuddle, if you like. No words needed."

"No, I… I want to talk."

"Really?" She lifted her head from his chest to look up at him.

He swallowed against the lump in his throat. "There are things I never said, before I lost you. Things I should've said. I never thought I'd get a second chance, but here we are. It's important that I - that I tell you things, that we start this new life properly, with minimal secrets."

"Minimal?" she asked, arching her eyebrow.

A light blush stained his cheeks. "Well. Certain things don't need to be said out loud."

"Oh yeah? Like what?"

"I'm hardly going to answer that, am I, when I specifically just said that I wouldn't say."

"Oh, all right." She paused, then glanced up at him again. "Did it have to do with me?"

He sighed, and played with a strand of her hair. "It's only the dreadfully embarrassing things I'm going to keep from you, Rose, so - "

"Noo, come on, I'm your best mate, you have to tell me the embarrassing stuff so that I can make fun of you like best mates are supposed to."

He narrowed his eyes at her. "You're very mean."

"I'm only gonna think up worse stuff in my head if you don't tell me. Like, I dunno…hmm, did you steal Mr Tedopolous from my bedroom on the TARDIS?"

"What an absurd idea." He averted his eyes from hers. "I don't need silly little toys to cuddle up to."

Rose stared at him for a moment, assessing. Then, her eyes lit up. "Oh my god. You slept in my room, didn't you? Did you hug my pillow?"

"Rose. Don't you dare laugh, or I'll remind you of the time I found you sleeping with my leather jacket."

"Oh, I miss that jacket," she murmured. "And hey, don't worry, I'm not gonna laugh at you. I'm jealous that you still had all my stuff and was surrounded by…us. I had nothing, just the clothes I was wearing and your psychic paper."

"That's where it went!" he exclaimed triumphantly. Then, he paused, and kissed her forehead. "I mean, sorry."

"It's all right."

"Mind you, it was difficult, Rose, being - as you said - surrounded by it all. Couldn't escape the memories, really. And I know that's not _necessarily_ a bad thing, but sometimes it was, sometimes I just…dwelt. For days on end. It was lucky that I picked up Martha and Donna. I think I might've grown too apathetic otherwise."

"I'm glad you had them."

"Yeah. And you, with your family - that all worked out rather well, didn't it?"

"Right matchmaker, you are."

"Mm, thinking of getting 'Cupid' tattooed on my chest."

Rose laughed. "They're really happy. I know Mum would feel guilty for saying it, but I reckon she feels happier now than she ever did before. With my real dad."

"Well. Circumstances are different, eh? Can't have been easy; we saw what they were like, when we went back to 1987."

"They loved each other but having no money and Dad's schemes not working…it put a strain on them, and they took each other for granted. Mum and Pete having this second chance, it means they, I dunno, value each other more, I guess."

"Yeah. And little Tony! Did you say I'm meeting him tomorrow?"

"Yep, Mum asked for us to go 'round for lunch." She glanced at him. "We don't have to."

"No, we should. I want to meet your brother."

"He's gonna love you."

"That'll be handy."

"Yeah?"

"Yes. He'll be terribly jealous that I've come along to be a rival for his big sister's affections, so it'll be good if he likes me."

"If you two gang up on me…"

"You'll what?"

"Hm, I'll think of something."

The Doctor chuckled, then squeezed Rose's shoulder. "Do you think we could go to bed? I'm knackered. We can still talk 'til we fall asleep, promise." He froze. "That is, er. If you want to share."

Rose stood up and stretched. "Mmm, bedtime sounds good. And yeah, we're gonna share. Not letting you out of my sight for a while. You all right sleeping in your pants? We'll go shopping after Mum's tomorrow, yeah? Get you some clothes and pyjamas and things."

"Sounds good to me."

Rose changed into her pjs in the bathroom, then snuggled under the duvet with the Doctor. "I've missed this," she murmured, curling into him, inhaling deeply.

"Me too." He stroked her arm. "Rose."

"Mmm?"

"Did you ever think about, er. Meeting someone else? Moving on?"

"Thought about it. Knew I couldn't, not if I knew there was potential for me to get back to you. When the Dimension Cannon project started, I knew there was a chance to do just that." She kissed his chest. "What about you?"

"Oh, no. Planned on wallowing for centuries," he said airily. "I seemed to _excel_ at pining."

"You don't have centuries anymore," she murmured, sounding sad.

"Rose, I don't have centuries to spend without you, anymore. That's the key point here."

"How's it feel? Knowing you can't just…regenerate if need be?"

"Terrifying. Anyone who's been alive for almost a thousand years would feel a little apprehensive about suddenly facing their mortality."

"Oh."

"But I'm also glad."

"Really, though?"

"Really, really. Living this life with you, it's all I've ever really wanted."

"Doctor…"

"I mean it. Me and you. In the TARDIS, eventually. Day after day of waking up with Rose Tyler…yeah, think I can live with that."

"For our forever."

"Indeed." He nudged her head with his nose. "Look at me a sec."

She did, and he pressed his lips to hers. She kissed him back, slowly, softly.

"This, right here, is where I want to be," he whispered, when their mouths parted.

"Even though you're gonna get old and wrinkly?"

"Yep."

"Even though you're gonna have to come with me to Mum's Sunday roasts?"

"Yeah."

"Even though you might have to cross paths with Torchwood a lot?"

"Ah, yes, about that."

"I work there. I have a team…I'm not gonna give it up."

"I wouldn't ask you to," he said, sounding surprised.

"Okay," she breathed out. "Good."

"I'll get as involved as you want or require me to." Then, he chuckled. "Just please say you love me enough to not give me a desk job."

"I'd never put you through such a thing," she promised, grinning, and gave him a brief kiss. "And yes, I do. Love you. A lot."

He made a pleased sound in the back of his throat. "Quite - "

"If you say that, I'm gonna push you off the bed."

The Doctor laughed. "I've missed your idle threats."

Rose sighed dramatically. "Idle threats? Idle? Well, that's it, you've done it now." She playfully started to push at his side, but he caught her hands in his, chuckling.

Meeting her gaze intently, he replied properly. "I love you too."

She smiled. "Much better."


End file.
